A Great Christmas Afterall

We had our doubts about whether Christmas would be enjoyable this year because on Christmas Eve, Boo came down with a nasty stomach virus. After several hours of no warning, projectile vomiting, Ben had a long rest and woke up mostly okay on Christmas morning. He didn't tear into the presents, as I thought he would, but enjoyed each one nevertheless (which made my desperate day before Christmas Eve shopping spree feel worth all the effort). He especially liked the Thomas lego train. After opening this one, he had to be persuaded to stop playing to open the rest.

After stomach fluids stabilized, we had pancakes and then headed over to the Youngs' house for a lovely Christmas dinner. My sister and her family are staying with her in laws because there was a fire in her kitchen several days before Christmas (what a year it's been!). Thankfully, there is limited permanent damage, but lots of smoke damage-everything is coated in a thin layer of soot. So, all cramped in a tiny living room, practically sitting on top of one another, but somehow not really minding, we opened presents.

Meanwhile I followed Ben around with a plastic bag in case he got sick because cleaning puke off Lorette's white couch might actually ruin my Christmas. He managed to stay well, although he wanted no part of dinner and has just been picking at food ever since. His adorable fancy Christmas outfit with the green sweater vest stayed clean. We enjoyed playing Wii, playing with the Hess trucks, rocket and haunted castle car toy Ben got. Adam had gotten Ben an incredible truck full of cars...which he hasn't stopped toting around since. The girls made makeup with the Barbie kit, showed off their Uggs and designer duds. It was a great Christmas. I have so much to appreciate and be thankful for...

This morning Ben says, ma, who we seeing today? Sylvie? Meghan Gramma Nobody? Just us buddy, just us.

Snow day!

Once in a while, the sky opens up and from the depths of the expansive galaxy, a great blessing falls from the heavens into the mundanity of one's life. That's right: a snow day when you are a teacher. It is a treasured thing and today I plan to revel in it!

Ben snores away on top of Al right now. He is fond of laying on him while sleeping. Papa Bear and Little Cub all nestled up. We might go to Pfizer's family day at Alex's work today since the snow near us isn't bad. Santa will be there and Ben is growing increasingly curious of the old man. Might be fun...but worth the drive...we'll see.

Yesterday he killed me with saying for the first time, "Are you serious?!" with the most sarcastic expression on his face and if I recall, hands on his hips. Well, since I laughed so hard, that's all he says, to the cat, to the Bear...is anybody, anywhere serious? And boy is he bossy. Two days ago Alex tickled me and as I squealed Ben said, "that's not nice! go sit on the green chair, daddy!" which Al did. He was merciful and after a couple of minutes Alex was allowed to get up. But first Ben said, "go give mommy a kiss and say sorry." We are so sunk...not even 3 yet!!!

We were gonna kick off potty training over winter break which is NEXT FRIGGEN WEEK (are you getting the excitement there?) We're doing pull ups at first cause with all the defiance, I am expecting it to be a slow go. He says he wants to go potty before bath time but throughout the day when he wants to be doing other stuff is another story. We'll wing it and follow his lead. No pressure on him and see where it goes...

Dinner with Syl

Ben and Sylvie had a special pre xmas dinner at the diner this weekend Before we met up, Kacey chatted with Ben on the cell. Of course the chat led to a discussion about Santa , the old man we keep bringing up lately. Kacey asks Ben what he wants Santa to bring him. Without missing a beat, Ben says, "I want batteries." For all the broken toys he has that aren't working....it was hilarious. So ghetto. Kacey took a while to recover.

After a rousing dinner with tinkerbell (Sylvie arrived in costume) we went shopping and bought designer training underwear for tinkerbell...the men wrangled the toddlers as we did a quick spin.

Sunday was a grading marathon for me- 9-10 hours of grading papers while Ben hung with the grands and katie meg lee until way after bed time. Apparently he saw Santa on a firetruck so today he was wondering why Santa wasn't on the ambulance that whizzed down 78. The kid thinks...On 2 hours of sleep I somehow got us home alive. We are beyond tired...and so happy to be home. 6 days left till break!!!

The conference

Today I met with Ben's teachers to discuss how things are going. What a nice, long chat we had! Ben is described as a very polite, social addition to the classroom. He apparently is obsessed with reminding everyone to push in their chairs and remembering to say please and thank you. He sits nicely in circle and enjoys hearing stories and books. Sometimes this well mattered behavior doesn't carry over into asking friends to leave his work alone, though-he sometimes pushes instead of using his words. Or he shouts "walk away!" to someone a bit too close to his work.

Another insight was that he is rather reluctant to show his teacher his lessons. She will ask him to show her how to do a particular work and he won't, he's not too interested in lessons...At first they wondered if he could do the lesson, but on his own he completes the very same lessons start to finish with no problem. It's curious...I wonder if maybe he feels on the spot during the lessons. I see this at home, too. For example, we read the Dora the Explorer book and there's all kinds of questions about what Dora needs next in her journey to wherever...he identified the scissors for cutting the net correctly the first three times we read the story, but now he says she needs the life jackets for every question. He knows Dora does not need the life jacket to cut through the net to get over the troll bridge, but he shouts "life jackets, life jackets!!" when I ask him now. I think it's because he likes the life jackets. Ohh Ben...

According to the teachers, on most things, he is in the practicing mode rather than in the mastery mode. He has mastered sorting, but he can't identify red, blue, yellow on his own. He can count to 11 outloud but doesn't actually identify any number but 1 consistently. This apparently is age appropriate. I wonder if he is able to do more than he shows since he is so reluctant to show off his talents to his teacher during lessons. He can hold a pencil the appropriate way, he loves art work, and he has wonderful friendships in the class.

Sometimes, the teachers have to remind him to stay on task, but then at times he will sit for long periods of time concentrating...especially while stringing beads or doing a very tough shape puzzle. He could spend the whole day in the practical life section pouring, spooning, or at the easel painting.

Overall, I was left with the feeling that Ben is loved and taken care of at his school. They really like him, which I needed to know after I heard he had some trouble pushing and hitting. I feel so much more connected to them and comfortable about having him there all day. It was a great day!

Pictures Thanksgiving 2008

Thanksgiving 2008

I had a hard time dropping off Ben at my mom's for the vacation...I even cried! Three nights seemed like an eternity away from Ben. But it actually went great. Ben got to spend some time with the grands and Uncle Addy and me and Alex got some much needed couple time. Mornings were great cause I just breezed into work without the stress of the morning drop off...but as the third day wore on, I really started missing Boo and realized that life right now is challenging, with or without Ben around. My job is really so much work, and its easy to justify my impatience with the fact that I have a child now. In truth, teaching, at times, is a tremendous amount of thankless work...and I am not sure what to do with the fact that it feels less than rewarding for all the energy I am putting in. This break is really needed!!!

We had a jubilant reunion when me and Alex pulled up at the time share house in Atlantic City. Ben never looked so cute and screamed with joy when we saw him and sprinted towards us...it was great! We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant in town and it was a good thing that we had our own room there so that Ben, Lilah and Meg could run around the table and go crazy...it was so classic! It was amazing to snuggle in bed that night with my boys all together again.

Along with Kate, Meg, and Marysa, Ben and I had such a nice time in the pool. Not only is he no longer timid in the water, he jumps into my arms, goes under and squeals with glee! I had a blast in the recreation room, almost beating Alex at some intense air hockey. We played Taboo which was so fun and enjoyed the festival of lights and shopping at Smithville. There we hit a toy shop with the greatest stuffed animal selection and I loved watching Ben animate all the creatures around him...they were so real to him and it was so interesting to watch him reenact little dramas with them: "Oh you're stuck, baby jaguar! Here comes daddy...do you want a hug? That's better!" Even though the quarter games were cheezy, they too were fun, as was playing the slot machines with Adam who made a killing on the penny slots and treated me to lunch! We relaxed with everybody at a fun mall that had a deck that looked over the Atlantic and had sand for kids to play with inside. I loved to watch Ben so engaged at playing in the sand with Meg for almost an hour.

It was wonderful to see him surrounded by all the love in my family, we didn't wanna go home and I felt so blessed!

Starting Over

It's been around 6 months since I updated and I have let this site go to seed! So I am just starting over. We ran out of room on the computer for pictures, so I don't know when I will be able to add those...hmmm...we'll see.

Ben is currently going to a new Montessori near the high school where I teach. Mornings I scoop him out of bed (that's our bed, usually) and he sleeps on the car ride over. When we get there we have a precise ritual-I wake him up, we snuggle, read the book "Cuddle" or "123" and I walk him in. He still cries when I leave, which I hate, but what can I do? Then I sprint over to my school to go teach my 9th and 11th graders and get him as soon as I can get there at the end of the day...

He has 7 other friends in his Toddler class and various other friends of assorted ages after 12 noon. I like the school, but lately he's been pushing and sometimes even hitting (gasp!). I am not sure what to do about it...it's the first time I have heard about him being anything less than an angel so I am at a loss. He has consequences (the hated green chair time out) when he does these things at home-so I dunno. I have his conference in a few days and am a bit nervous about it. The idea of someone who spends the whole day with my kid not liking him because he misbehaves is very unsettling to say the least. This might not be the case but I worry. I want everyone to adore him, or atleast like him....and if he acts up-maybe they won't! Yipes!!!

Ben is now absolutely fluent. Right now he is laying on Rissy's belly after pulling her leg and getting yelled at. I yell too much these days and I hate it...I feel like he is constantly testing every single boundry we have and it's exhausting. I have a friend who has a child that's a few years older than Ben and when she was 2 and a few months I remember her saying "oh my God, she is naughty every moment of the day." I naively asked her if she uses time outs and she rolled her eyes and said that if she put Darwin in a time out for everything she did her time out would statrt at 9 am and end at 8 pm. That's exactly how I feel lately. There's moments where we play nicely and he is focusedad we laugh but then he'll be doing something ghastly the next minute. Today we played with clay for like 25 minutes straight and it was great, we were having so much fun. Then he started beating up the cat and putting his feet on the computer, pulling at wires... It's a tough time kinda. He wants what he wants when he wants it. And it's tiring.

Tonight I will bring him to my mom and family then he will be spending 3 nights away from us-we are already in withdrawl over it...then when I am done with school on Wed. we will join the family in Atlantic City for the time share. I feel like supplying them with a list of how to keep Ben from being an absolute terror but something tells me he saves his very best misbehavior for me and will be fine...God we're gona miss him! I hope it goes by fast!

The Big Little Guy

We had a nice week and are winding down the school year-miraculously, just 2 weeks left. Some smaller siblings have taken to visiting our class lately and it is so fun to see Ben handle the little ones since it is he who is "the little one" most of the time. He bends down to a little baby girl and gets this huge smile on his face, gently puts his arm around her and says "hello, baby". He even has a "you are smaller than me" tone that is kinda a bit sweeter and manufactured. After nap the other day a smaller child who is two months younger than Ben woke up and pointing to Ben he shouts, "Ben!" In this big guy tone Ben says, "Yes, that's right, Ben!" So very cute.

Interesting sayings I never taught Ben but he acquired anyway:

"Whoa...motorcycle! Way cool! Awesome!"

"Oh my God!"

"Shut up" (I am not so proud of this one...)

{At the top of his lungs, out the window} "Who wants ice cream?!!!!!"

Potty Time!

Here Ben sits for the first time on the potty! He liked it so much that he stayed for 15 minutes!

HAPPY 2 BEN!!!

So much fun was had in the inflatable bouncy! Ben sits down to accept all the wonderful gifts!

Benny's Birthday!

What a great day! After a week of rain we finally had a gorgeous spring day to celebrate Ben. Everyone came to Lee's for a nice afternoon lunch. We spent most of the day outside-it was a leisure sport decathlon with bad min ton, beach volleyball, baseball and inflatable bouncy hopping all going on all at the same time. Alex and John decided to take it to a new level by playing EXTREME bad min ton where one participant (ahem, the not very responsible dad!) got on the roof of the garage! Shhh...don't tell Brian!

Ben had a blast with Sylvie who he has been requesting to see for weeks! An awesome time was had by all....special thanks to Lee and mom for making it all happen! XXXOOOO

What color to make it??

Pictures

Uncle Addy displays an easter egg made with Benner.

Fantasies!

Ben has now reached a new level in his cognitive abilities to make crazy things up and then act like they are really happening. Remember the fear of caterpillars? Well, this morning he was standing by the window and "saw" a spider: "Oh no! A spider there!" said he. Then he comes over holding his hand and says, "Oh mommy, spider bit me. Spider hurt me." Again, no bite, no spider. But in Ben's mind this whole little drama played out.

He also likes to reenact events: particularly people arriving and going. It goes something like this: "Oh hi guys! How are you? Good? Ok. Ok. All right guys. What are you doing?" then "Bye Grampa. Bye Meghan. See you soon!"

Today we will celebrate his birthday at Aunt Lee's-should be a hit!

Wake up!

It's been a nice week. A funny thing happened the other day. Ask any parent how important a nap is and imagine for a moment the task of putting 10, yes 10, children to sleep. It is a grand one, and it takes us nearly half the year to get all the kids to sleep. Someone in charge, obviously not any one who has ever taken on this immense task, thought it was a good idea to put our school next to a firehouse. So, the other day the children are settling down, tossing their blankies into the air, darting their socks at children next to them-keeping them from sleeping while Enya purrs along, pleading the children to rest for gods sake. Finally they fall asleep and about 10 minutes after the last child finally gives up the battle against Heavy Lid, the fire alarm next door goes off. Ben, from a coma like state of sleep pops up and exclaims: "FIRETRUCK, FIRETRUCK, FIRETRUCK" like he just won 10 million dollars. The children wake up like popcorn, one at a time...it was agonizing and hilarious at the same time.

Ben went to the farm the other day and it was a wonderful trip. He got the chance to pet a cow up close and bossed the 500 lb. mammal around: "Hey you, come here. Hey come on, come back. How are you? Good?" The next morning we went for a walk and found a caterpillar. "Ewwww!!!" he screeched and recoiled. "Go away! Get down". Makes no sense at all!

Happy Birthday to Benny!

Two years old today. What a perfect day! We had the pleasure of listening to 2 serenades of hb to you, compliments of gramma and leekatemeg. Then we enjoyed brownies with friends and sang the earth goes around the sun tra la in circle. We enjoyed giving speed racer stickers to all the friends in Ben's class and making a birthday bow (ben chose blue and green).


Lisa came over and we had pizza for dinner, Ben's favorite. This was followed by ice cream soup since the ice cream cake I picked up at lunch time and stored in the freezer at work did not make the ride home-oh well, it was still delicious! We opened presents presents presents (quoth Ben) and of course he was all "oh my goodness" about his vehicles: a truck that spits out a car, a set of Tonka construction vehicles, a wheel barrel and watering can, and a Diego set of building blocks where you can build up to 6 kinds a things. When I turned the jeep into a plane, Ben looked at me, grinned and said "nice". What an incredible discovery to come home to Adam's wooden vehicles last night-getting the mail will never be the same! A great birthday all around!

Ben, you are the sunshine of our life. We love more than you will ever fathom and consider ourselves the luckiest humans on earth.

I leave you with something from around 8 months old and something kinda recent:

Fancy food handling

Ben in the bath

Boilin'

Ben is sleeping after a complete meltdown that dad didn't put him to sleep, instead it was me, chopliver. The tantrums have been intense-sometimes he turns red and screams cause he dropped his car and he can't reach it from his car seat; sometimes he freaks out when it's time to put his work away-especially cars, man is it hard to part with cars. Little guy has a temper and it has been hard to watch him fall apart at the seemingly smallest of things lately. In some ways it is a tiny bit funny to watch him go stiff as an ironing board and watch his head turn into a tomato. I guess I just dig deep down to find the patience to handle it as best as I can.

"Oh my goodness" is uttered at least 15 times a day lately, he loves saying it and doing the Home Alone hands on cheeks thing. Today I enjoyed watching him play football. It was funny and so terrible twos: He would throw me the ball and I was allowed to catch it. But if I held out my hands to catch while he was practicing the kick he was all, "no mommy, mine!" But if I should try to do anything else like read something I might be interested in that was completely unacceptable too. Oh Ben!!! Two days till your birthday, little guy!

My Helper

Ben wakes up from his nap grumpy. Today he woke up and designated himself the ambassador of classroom safety. As he munched on an animal cracker he yells "Ella, no running!" Paige, dismayed at the outburst squealed some complaint and Ben says, "No thank you, Paige" and smugly sips his apple juice.

Completely on his own and much to my surprise, he has taken an interest in sitting on Drayton's potty! So exciting...he points to it and says "Poopy there! Sit!" So I put him on and we chat. He feels cool, you can tell.

Tonight for dinner we had chick pattie parm and shells. A hungry Boo demands, "I want boat, more boat"-an apt description for the little pasta shells.

Tuesday Score

Today I trashpicked a great set of unopened blocks. On our way home from school Ben insisted that I open the blocks and he made a "firetruck". Nevermind that it was vertical and looked nothing like a firetruck-it was indeed a big red fire engine in benny's mind and he sirened the whole way home. Meanwhile I sang him "hurry hurry drive the firetruck" and he asked "again? again? again?" until I simply could not comply any more. The motor vehicles thing is a full on obsession that never stops. I don't see it, vroom vroom...what's the big deal? But Ben is in love so what can I do but cheer at a mack truck or better yet school bus sighting too? Sirens are a whole other category of elation.

We had a nice day at school with almost no incidents. Ben ate his body weight in hummus and I discovered that he loves oranges so I am happy to add those items to his diet since he is such a carb freak. He is still dealing with separation issues which really blows my mind. If I leave the playground to take a kid to the bathroom, he freaks out and when I leave for lunch at nap time, the same drama ensues. I mean I come back each and every time, so it is curious to me that we aren't over it yet. New twist on the crying, while he wails he says, "I want daddy". Yesterday he fell and bit his lip, a big gushy bloody mess and the whole time it's "daddy, daddy". What's up with that? I'm chopped liver, I guess.

Today was funny. Douglas, a boy in Ben's class who is around one year older was crying and screaming when his mom came to get him. He always freaks out when she comes. Any way as he is sobbing kicking and carrying on, me and Ben were leaving and Ben is saying "Bye Douglas, bye Douglas, bye-bye." He just wouldn't let up till Douglas acknowledged him. Feeling bad for Douglas's mom who is obviously humiliated by this daily display, I picked Ben up and nudged him along. He shouts, "Bye bye Douglas" over my shoulder. All of a sudden Douglas stops crying says "Bye, Ben!" cheerfully then resumes his screaming. Agh...toddlers! How many days left till the end of the school year?

Bossy

Ben has been a little bossy lately, to everybody but most especially Rissy. If she meows, Ben says, "Rissy! Stop that now!" Or if she complains about wanting to go into the basement he sighs, runs up to her and says, "No Riss, go away. No pushing."

Yesterday we went to a restaurant after Meghan's communion. He loved the gazebo and especially chasing panpa (grandpa) around the gazebo, but when it was time to have some appetizers, he wanted no part of coming inside and screamed at the top of his lungs "No mommy! Stooop it! Don't! Go away!!!" Lovely...so I managed to get him inside kicking and screaming and into his highchair. Much to my surprise he was appeased with a few mozzarella sticks and "dip" (a big fan of the condiments is Ben). A few minutes later I felt his little hand stroking my back....is it possible for a 2 year old to have remorse? Probably not, but it did make me feel all better!

Fun with Food

Ben is healthy and happy again, back to his usual jovial self. This past weekend we celebrated grandma's birthday. Of course he practiced the happy birthday dear Benny song, but when the cake came rolling in he was awestruck and speechless. While he pushed around the dinner on his plate, the chocolate cake went down with no problem. "Yummy!" said Ben and I have heard "I want chocolate" every day since.

Yesterday we went for Chinese. Ben was enjoying lo mien, eating and slurping the noodles down one by one. As he ate the noodles, I offered the bean curd with broccoli, "have some tofu"...then the rest of the dish-much to our amusement Ben says with a smile, "yummy trees"; an apt description for the broccoli. So cute, Ben!

Sickiepoo

Ben has his first fever! Never thought I would miss the tearing around the house or the WWF bellyflops and assaults but boy is a sick Ben weird! It's eerily quiet as he sits listlessly in our lap and I think even the cats are wondering why balls aren't flying over head or why tambourines aren't being played to marching benny feet.

That reminds me: Ben is now writing his own songs. Well, it is unfair to say writing. While he does sing his own tune, the words are really a conglomeration of other songs like, "wheels on the bus... go away, come again another day, open shut them...laaa!!!!!" It is is very cute and I am really hoping I can get one on tape.

Tomorrow he stays home and rests...can't wait till he is his usual crazy self again!

Back from out of the loop

We are experiencing technical difficulties with uploading pics of Ben and I have been remiss in keeping up this blog...my apologies to all our faithful readers! Nevertheless, we are back at least in word with many pics to follow of our travels since Easter.

Uncle Adam recently asked, "what's he saying now" and I thought, geez he seems to say everything. He is officially into phrases, and he says too many single words to reasonably count. He is getting better at communicating what he needs, though he gets frustrated sometimes when he can't get it out. He has a fascination with saying "I want juice, I want car, I want cheese..." and actually getting it so there are a lot of "I wants.." uttered in a given day. He has a quasi-obsession with all modes of transportation and loves cars trucks tractors with great zeal. He is so compassionate-the other day he crawled under the jungle gym to snuggle a friend who wanted mommy.

Ben is sleeping the first half of the night in his own room and the other half in our bed, which is great actually. Yeah, the tough love and crying it out wasn't working-every month or so he would revert to crying out and I had to ask myself if something isn't working why keep doing it. After talking it over with a dear colleague who co-sleeps with her 7 and 4 year old sons I decided that it was OK to be open to other solutions. Alex was glad cause he wanted to do it all along. I couldn't be happier with the arrangement (except when he sleeps horizontally) and I really think Ben is more affectionate and huggy than ever before-which I love. Recently I decided to go back to teaching at the high school and it has dawned on me that my little boy is growing up...I want to snuggle him as long as I can get away with =)

we are sick!

Ben and I are home on a Wed. cause we both have strep. You wouldn't know it in Ben; except for a bit of coughing he is his usual self...he is currently undressing his favorite bear, Bearsly, who exclaims "i love you" when you squeeze his arm. Ben loves this little guy, especially after he has been de-clothed.

A typical boy, he loves his cars and trains. He has a love/hate realtionship with a big bucket "choo choo truck" of his- he loves it but then gets very frustrated with it too...dashing it to the ground saying, "ohhh my god!!!!" and exhaling heavily. Another favorite activity of Ben these days is turning his table upside down and pulling off the legs. Terrific. Then of course, there's his books-he has us read each one I dunno 8 or 9 times in a row.

As for the kitchen... it's pretty much just a place to dump stuff. He clangs the pots and dumps all the stuff. And he has so far ripped off the oven door and one faucet handle (note to self-next time get the indestructable more expensive one).

Little Boo enjoys hanging out on the cat condo and just beig his adorable self.

Nice Weekend

Ben got to spend lots of hours this weekend socializing with all his adoring fans. Yesterday we went to Syl's and spent some time at Lakeshore, the teacher's store. Ben and Syl tore it up with musical instruments and discovered a lovely demo of moon sand. Then he went to Lee's where he was of course the best playmate Buster the puppy could find. We spent the night and he even got to sleep with Meghan for a bit. Earlier when she tried to hold something he was playing with he said "my work....ok?"

This morning after a lovely breakfast of pancakes he chilled with Poppy on the couch and then we went out for a haircut. While he was incredibly well behaved, he still got a crooked doo-can't wait for it to grow out a bit!

Sentences!

Ben is speaking in sentences a bit and it's very exciting. Today he declared, "I want it! I want it!" He also says

I'll get it.
I got it.
What happened?
I love you.
What's that?
Stop it.
Daddy coming home?
Hi Rissy!
Juice, please.

Snow day!

Today I woke at 5 to Ben calling at the gate. It's been a rough week. With conferences the kids at school have been off of their schedules and out of their minds. Yesterday I almost hid in a bathroom stall and never came out-it was that bad. Ben wasn't bad-the older kids, even the normally helpful and quiet ones were beserkus. So as Ben cried at the gate, I mustered all I could to leave my warm bed and bring him back to the big boy bed and cozy up for a few minutes with him before facing the inevitable. It was very cute, tucked neatly under my arm, every time I sneezed he said, "bless you" clear as a bell.

Moments before stepping into the shower-the miraculous call came...SNOW DAY!!! We watched a movie at 10 AM and I even got to nap myself in the middle of the day. Life is sweet!!

Saturday Parenting

This morning I went shopping with Ben and he was less than enthusiastic about it. So in my haste to appease the cranky toddler, I ended up having to go back to the same store during his nap. Something like 4 hours was spent when all was said and done. Suffice to say I was up for an easy going evening. And that's just what Ben gave me!

Earlier in the week I had spoken to Stefanie, Ben's other teacher, who went through a training called Redirecting Children's Behavior that's offered to parents at Ben's school. In a nutshell, the emphasis is on positive discipline-rather than shaming the child into behaving properly, or just saying "no" you help them to redirect their negative behavior into a more approprite one. For example, if Ben is throwing the remote, you say, "I see you want to throw and throwing this could hurt mom or dad or the cats. Let's get you a ball." Or you could say, I see you're interested in the remote, let's see how to use this neat thing instead of throwing it so no one gets hurt." That kind of thing, though that's just the tip of the iceberg. You have to also give them a choice whenever you can and a reason. ("You can either stop throwing or I will take it away from you and you'll sit in the pack and play for some time. You choose.") So, "no throwing" is kinda arbitrary to Ben, and totally meaningless to him so he will not comply much of the time, so the theory goes.

I thought this sounded hoaky and that it was one of those parenting theories where the child is put on a pedestal and catered to too much. So my approach with him has been, "no hitting" and "no throwing". Lots of no's all over the place and it's not working so well. So I am trying to use this more RCB language. Much to my surprise, it seems to be working a bit better. I am trying to communicate better with Ben by giving him reasons and choices and he is listening more readily. I am some how less angry, and more willing to let him help me with the things I do that interest him. So today he "helped" me change the litter, rather than me chasing him outta the bathroom and yelling.

It's been nice and so far, it's been a bit easier and he is stopping the negative behavior sooner. I love him so much and today he was so cuddly and wanting hugs and kisses. It was so great because I have been missing that so much lately.

Apple!

Here Ben enjoys an apple at the dinner table at the Youngs.

For some reason, he always says apple with great excitement and enthusiam so it's never apple. It's apple!

Katie started juggling the apples! and Ben was so excited by this prospect that he started pelting the apples! across the table. Monkey see, monkey do.

Dinner with the Youngs

Lovely Day

Here Ben is playing with Jonathan, an older friend as Anish watches on. Usually in the morning he is running around with Adam and Noah, two very active friends. But today it was Jonathan and Anish from Elementary, much quieter chaps. In this picture he is showing Anish a block. I love these kids!

Happy Valentimes!

Today we had Aknowledge your friend day at school and celebrated by making pancakes, eggs and soy bacon together. It was a delight and Ben really enjoyed it.

We did have one pulling hair episode that warrented a time out, but I kept my cool and redirected Ben to a chair away from friends while he gathered himself. Apparently, right before he goes to sleep at night, he replays my scolding him to Alex, holding his cheeks and saying "no stop it, no no no!" This report broke my heart and inspired me to get a grip and remember the lil guy isn't even two and i gotta lighten up for his sake.

The other little guys in class are doing the same things-pushing hitting, pulling and it is important for me to keep this in mind when I get upset. I tend to go harder on him and expect more cause he's mine and that's not exactly fair.

We started a new nightly ritual of ball catch and throw after Ben's bath. The three of us toss around the little green ball or his Nerf football which Ben often bites. This is by far Ben's favorite activity-he goes nuts and runs around the house like a maniac. Not exactly conducive to zzz's but hey it's fun!

New Levels of Hyperactivity

Right now my voice is hoarse from shouting at Ben-ok I am not proud. But the little dude has reached new heights of hyperactivity and defiance. Our latest pet peeve is the throwing of pain inducing objects-he's not choosy: remotes, phones, hard toys, books. And here's the kicker-he laughs and laughs when he does it. So I am not very successful lately at controlling my anger and frustration over this. Moments ago he pelted a hard container at my head, before that a book at the cat. I feel like one of those lost parents on the supernanny.

We do have a system of consequences in order. First we say no and redirect him to throwing a ball-clearly he needs to throw. Then if he continues the negative behavior, Ben goes in the high security prison-the pack and play which he hates more than anything. Usually he is in there about 2 minutes, and he screams his little heart out the whole time. So we have a system of coping but it is taking a while for him to learn. Or we are just doing it wrong. When I reprimand him it takes a while to sink in-he has never been one of those kids that responds to a scolding, it takes a lot of volume and repetition before he appears to have any regret over his negative behavior. So I am screaming at times at him while he laughs and laughs at me. It's not pretty. Maybe we'll just take him directly to the pack and play after a warning. Why should I tire myself out yelling when it doesn't make an impression?

Whew! What a day! It's time like these when I consider myself nuts signing up to mange 15, yes 15 toddlers. Ohh please do something cute Ben so I feel better!

This is a picture of Ben sleeping in the big boy bed with Rissy, his sleeping companion. They love to snuggle and she keeps a close eye on him. In the picture is Ben's favorite blue blankie. When he gets tired, he brings over the blankie and a book, usually to Alex but sometimes me. It is his way of saying, "Now I am ready for sleep."

Tonight he brought blankie and book and said to me, "daddy coming home?" (poor Alex spent over three hours getting home from Manhatten). It was so sweet. He was covered in yogurt as it was pre bath so the boy musta been really sleepy cause every night it's the same deal and he was all confused. Suffice to say, when Alex walked in moments later it was a happy reunion for all three of us and we converged in a threeway hug before dad took the little guy in to bed.

Visit with Grands

Last night Ben was picked up at school by grandma and grandpa. He excitedly chatted away as they drove off and much to my surprise, he gave them no fuss at all in car (unlike my recent car trips with the boy). They went out to Italian and Ben was described by the waitress as the happiest baby she ever met. He spread butter on his bread with a knife and got his little tongue stuck on the butter container. My dad enjoyed watching Ben dip his fries in the sauce and dress his pasta with some sauce they put on the side. He was a delight, they said. When I walked in he said "hey mommy!" and he showed grandma his weeble castle. Freddy had to get home to rest so we called it night, eargerly anticipating another visit this weekend.

Cow!

Ben and I pass a farm everyday on the way to school and each day he shouts, "Cow!" whether they are there or not. On the one day that Ben actually visited a farm, he fell asleep before the animal tour began. It was outrageous really-it was October and we got a pumpkin from the field, picked a gourd. Then at some point during the hayride back, he just fell asleep on me and slept through the entire "this is a goat, this is a chicken. this is a pig" shpeal, which sucked because we were miles from the car and he was really heavy. I think he did wake up for the cows-but it was a little disturbing how close they got to us and it freaked him out a bit. Nothing like waking up to 20 black cows striding toward you, mooing like nuts and swatting flies. Much better to admire them from the comfort of the car with a baggie of goldfish, a juicebox and a toy police car. (Though lately, despite these comforts, Ben is cranky in the car and it's been tough).

Sweet Sunday

Today was really warm and nice. Since Ella's birthday took up most of yesterday, we needed today to regroup and get some things done so we could stand a chance at surviving the work week. We had a nice lunch together and as we ate, Rissy snuck into Ben's farmhouse. Ben chastised her just as we would him, clapping his hands to startle her then saying, "Rissy, you go-okay?" It was hilarious.

Well, I finished the chores earlier than expected and while the world was inside watching the big game, we went to Princeton to take advantage of the warm weather. The fountain, our favorite place in Princeton, had been emptied so we played a riveting game of ball and ran around like lunatics. It was so warm that we were able to walk around the campus for over an hour and just soak in the beautiful architecture. It was the perfect family day!

When seeing this pic on the computer Ben said, "Cracker with Sylvie." Yes. Incidently, "cracker" was Ben's first word.