Sentences!

Ben is speaking in sentences a bit and it's very exciting. Today he declared, "I want it! I want it!" He also says

I'll get it.
I got it.
What happened?
I love you.
What's that?
Stop it.
Daddy coming home?
Hi Rissy!
Juice, please.

Snow day!

Today I woke at 5 to Ben calling at the gate. It's been a rough week. With conferences the kids at school have been off of their schedules and out of their minds. Yesterday I almost hid in a bathroom stall and never came out-it was that bad. Ben wasn't bad-the older kids, even the normally helpful and quiet ones were beserkus. So as Ben cried at the gate, I mustered all I could to leave my warm bed and bring him back to the big boy bed and cozy up for a few minutes with him before facing the inevitable. It was very cute, tucked neatly under my arm, every time I sneezed he said, "bless you" clear as a bell.

Moments before stepping into the shower-the miraculous call came...SNOW DAY!!! We watched a movie at 10 AM and I even got to nap myself in the middle of the day. Life is sweet!!

Saturday Parenting

This morning I went shopping with Ben and he was less than enthusiastic about it. So in my haste to appease the cranky toddler, I ended up having to go back to the same store during his nap. Something like 4 hours was spent when all was said and done. Suffice to say I was up for an easy going evening. And that's just what Ben gave me!

Earlier in the week I had spoken to Stefanie, Ben's other teacher, who went through a training called Redirecting Children's Behavior that's offered to parents at Ben's school. In a nutshell, the emphasis is on positive discipline-rather than shaming the child into behaving properly, or just saying "no" you help them to redirect their negative behavior into a more approprite one. For example, if Ben is throwing the remote, you say, "I see you want to throw and throwing this could hurt mom or dad or the cats. Let's get you a ball." Or you could say, I see you're interested in the remote, let's see how to use this neat thing instead of throwing it so no one gets hurt." That kind of thing, though that's just the tip of the iceberg. You have to also give them a choice whenever you can and a reason. ("You can either stop throwing or I will take it away from you and you'll sit in the pack and play for some time. You choose.") So, "no throwing" is kinda arbitrary to Ben, and totally meaningless to him so he will not comply much of the time, so the theory goes.

I thought this sounded hoaky and that it was one of those parenting theories where the child is put on a pedestal and catered to too much. So my approach with him has been, "no hitting" and "no throwing". Lots of no's all over the place and it's not working so well. So I am trying to use this more RCB language. Much to my surprise, it seems to be working a bit better. I am trying to communicate better with Ben by giving him reasons and choices and he is listening more readily. I am some how less angry, and more willing to let him help me with the things I do that interest him. So today he "helped" me change the litter, rather than me chasing him outta the bathroom and yelling.

It's been nice and so far, it's been a bit easier and he is stopping the negative behavior sooner. I love him so much and today he was so cuddly and wanting hugs and kisses. It was so great because I have been missing that so much lately.

Apple!

Here Ben enjoys an apple at the dinner table at the Youngs.

For some reason, he always says apple with great excitement and enthusiam so it's never apple. It's apple!

Katie started juggling the apples! and Ben was so excited by this prospect that he started pelting the apples! across the table. Monkey see, monkey do.

Dinner with the Youngs

Lovely Day

Here Ben is playing with Jonathan, an older friend as Anish watches on. Usually in the morning he is running around with Adam and Noah, two very active friends. But today it was Jonathan and Anish from Elementary, much quieter chaps. In this picture he is showing Anish a block. I love these kids!

Happy Valentimes!

Today we had Aknowledge your friend day at school and celebrated by making pancakes, eggs and soy bacon together. It was a delight and Ben really enjoyed it.

We did have one pulling hair episode that warrented a time out, but I kept my cool and redirected Ben to a chair away from friends while he gathered himself. Apparently, right before he goes to sleep at night, he replays my scolding him to Alex, holding his cheeks and saying "no stop it, no no no!" This report broke my heart and inspired me to get a grip and remember the lil guy isn't even two and i gotta lighten up for his sake.

The other little guys in class are doing the same things-pushing hitting, pulling and it is important for me to keep this in mind when I get upset. I tend to go harder on him and expect more cause he's mine and that's not exactly fair.

We started a new nightly ritual of ball catch and throw after Ben's bath. The three of us toss around the little green ball or his Nerf football which Ben often bites. This is by far Ben's favorite activity-he goes nuts and runs around the house like a maniac. Not exactly conducive to zzz's but hey it's fun!

New Levels of Hyperactivity

Right now my voice is hoarse from shouting at Ben-ok I am not proud. But the little dude has reached new heights of hyperactivity and defiance. Our latest pet peeve is the throwing of pain inducing objects-he's not choosy: remotes, phones, hard toys, books. And here's the kicker-he laughs and laughs when he does it. So I am not very successful lately at controlling my anger and frustration over this. Moments ago he pelted a hard container at my head, before that a book at the cat. I feel like one of those lost parents on the supernanny.

We do have a system of consequences in order. First we say no and redirect him to throwing a ball-clearly he needs to throw. Then if he continues the negative behavior, Ben goes in the high security prison-the pack and play which he hates more than anything. Usually he is in there about 2 minutes, and he screams his little heart out the whole time. So we have a system of coping but it is taking a while for him to learn. Or we are just doing it wrong. When I reprimand him it takes a while to sink in-he has never been one of those kids that responds to a scolding, it takes a lot of volume and repetition before he appears to have any regret over his negative behavior. So I am screaming at times at him while he laughs and laughs at me. It's not pretty. Maybe we'll just take him directly to the pack and play after a warning. Why should I tire myself out yelling when it doesn't make an impression?

Whew! What a day! It's time like these when I consider myself nuts signing up to mange 15, yes 15 toddlers. Ohh please do something cute Ben so I feel better!

This is a picture of Ben sleeping in the big boy bed with Rissy, his sleeping companion. They love to snuggle and she keeps a close eye on him. In the picture is Ben's favorite blue blankie. When he gets tired, he brings over the blankie and a book, usually to Alex but sometimes me. It is his way of saying, "Now I am ready for sleep."

Tonight he brought blankie and book and said to me, "daddy coming home?" (poor Alex spent over three hours getting home from Manhatten). It was so sweet. He was covered in yogurt as it was pre bath so the boy musta been really sleepy cause every night it's the same deal and he was all confused. Suffice to say, when Alex walked in moments later it was a happy reunion for all three of us and we converged in a threeway hug before dad took the little guy in to bed.

Visit with Grands

Last night Ben was picked up at school by grandma and grandpa. He excitedly chatted away as they drove off and much to my surprise, he gave them no fuss at all in car (unlike my recent car trips with the boy). They went out to Italian and Ben was described by the waitress as the happiest baby she ever met. He spread butter on his bread with a knife and got his little tongue stuck on the butter container. My dad enjoyed watching Ben dip his fries in the sauce and dress his pasta with some sauce they put on the side. He was a delight, they said. When I walked in he said "hey mommy!" and he showed grandma his weeble castle. Freddy had to get home to rest so we called it night, eargerly anticipating another visit this weekend.

Cow!

Ben and I pass a farm everyday on the way to school and each day he shouts, "Cow!" whether they are there or not. On the one day that Ben actually visited a farm, he fell asleep before the animal tour began. It was outrageous really-it was October and we got a pumpkin from the field, picked a gourd. Then at some point during the hayride back, he just fell asleep on me and slept through the entire "this is a goat, this is a chicken. this is a pig" shpeal, which sucked because we were miles from the car and he was really heavy. I think he did wake up for the cows-but it was a little disturbing how close they got to us and it freaked him out a bit. Nothing like waking up to 20 black cows striding toward you, mooing like nuts and swatting flies. Much better to admire them from the comfort of the car with a baggie of goldfish, a juicebox and a toy police car. (Though lately, despite these comforts, Ben is cranky in the car and it's been tough).

Sweet Sunday

Today was really warm and nice. Since Ella's birthday took up most of yesterday, we needed today to regroup and get some things done so we could stand a chance at surviving the work week. We had a nice lunch together and as we ate, Rissy snuck into Ben's farmhouse. Ben chastised her just as we would him, clapping his hands to startle her then saying, "Rissy, you go-okay?" It was hilarious.

Well, I finished the chores earlier than expected and while the world was inside watching the big game, we went to Princeton to take advantage of the warm weather. The fountain, our favorite place in Princeton, had been emptied so we played a riveting game of ball and ran around like lunatics. It was so warm that we were able to walk around the campus for over an hour and just soak in the beautiful architecture. It was the perfect family day!

When seeing this pic on the computer Ben said, "Cracker with Sylvie." Yes. Incidently, "cracker" was Ben's first word.

A Week of Hard Work

Considering that here it is Saturday and my first post this week, it was a busy, fun and productive one. Ben is sleeping much better in the big boy bed-waking once and going right back after a bit of reassurance, and we are doing well despite battling some nasty colds.

This week, Ben was really hyper in the classroom. He likes to stand at one end of the fish tank and make faces at his friends on the other side then cackle and stampede around the classroom. We have a nice quiet corner set up with a fleece blanket and lots of comfy pillows. The intent is for kids missing mommy and daddy to be comfy and just observe the class while lounging there. Well many times this week, Ben has charged the "quiet corner", gathered the pillows and thrown them over his head like a wild warrior. Nice. And quiet too. Ben.

In my efforts to make the mommy in the classroom thing work, I often let the other teachers do work with him and engage for that hour or so with the rest of the kids in the class. Ben is consistently "better behaved " with them and more responsive when they do lessons. As a result of rarely doing work with him and being preoccupied, I rarely see just how much he can do. One day this week Stefanie, the other teacher, set Ben up with a pipe cleaner and some small wooden beads. Watching this I thought to myself, "no way can he do that. The small motor skill this requires is way outta his league. " In seconds he plucked up the tiny beads and effortlessly strung the whole pipe cleaner full, emptied it and did it again. I chastised myself for underestimating him. I was very proud of him.

It occured to me this week that while Ben talks all day and has a number of words, much of his language is still benspeak. (aside-one of the older kids was playing with him and exclaimed-"Listen, Ben is speaking English!") Anyway, it is cool to see how much more language he actually comprehends. He understands and does the following: Get your high chair for dinner. Put your work away. Give your friend a hug. Give me that. Put your blanket away (back on his bead). Put your coat in your cubby. Go back to sleep, we are right here. There are tons of other examples, these are just a few. So cool to watch him come in to the world a bit more each day.

Today is Ella's birthday party. She is a treasured friend from his class. I think Ben will be tickled to see all his friends somewhere else besides school, and it should be lots of fun!